Sunday, January 17, 2010

How Many Kells Girls Does It Take to Put Gas in a Jeep?

By way of explanation, I’m currently battling breast cancer. This is a cross over story from that blog, The Brunette Lucy vs. Breast Cancer - & Cancer Can Suck It. Before starting chemo, we found out that I’m extremely anemic. Therefore, I needed to have iron infusions. This is the story of what happened when my daughter, Elyse, drove me.

It was the morning we were to report for my first infusion, & Elyse was driving me in the Jeep. We knew we needed gas, but we figured we could wait until after my appointment. However, when on an incline, it looked as if we were going to run out before we even got out of town. We made the decision to get gas – something we should have known would end in disaster.

You see, even though Kells girls are very self sufficient, we are also spoiled by the Kells men. I can’t remember the last time I put gas in my car. Truth be told, I don’t know what half the stuff in my car does (see “I’m Too Stupid for my Car”). I just figured that since the girls got their licenses, Matt taught them how to pump their own. Instead, their brother, Dakota, has been doing it for them all this time. Imagine my surprise when I realized that between the two of us, I was the one with the most gas pumping experience – from 25 years ago before I married Matt.

Elyse pulled into the gas station, and then quickly realized that she had no idea which side of the car the gas tank was on. Looking out the door, we saw that it was on the driver’s side. Now, Elyse is very good at driving, however, after trying to figure out which side of the car we needed to pull up to, was a bit distracted. She narrowly missed hitting the tanks. Backing up, she managed to get it in place; but it was a very, very tight fit.

She got out, & I handed her the gas card. I was sitting in the warmth of the Jeep, when I noticed that she was standing there staring at the pump with my card in her hand. I knew help was necessary – MY help, though, not so much. I’m the mom, darn it, so it was up to me. Together we stood there & read the instructions on using the credit card. She finally ventured putting it in, & we were happy to see that instructions began to scroll across the screen. Elyse got the nozzle out, & we turned to open the little gas door. She pulled, nothing happened. I pulled, nothing happened. Back & forth, dumb & dumber stood there pulling at the little door. THEN, Elyse remembered – there’s a lever in the car that we needed to push that would automatically open the stubborn tank door. She made quick work of unscrewing the doohickey, & put the nozzle in. Sadly, no gas was coming out. She squeezed, I squeezed, she squeezed again, & so did I. I looked at her & asked if we didn’t just do this dance. We stood there with our mouths agape, staring at the nozzle.

Finally, a Good Samaritan, who’d apparently been quite amused watching this little display, came over. Here, we’d forgotten to turn the little lever thing down on the gas pump. He smiled, showed us what we were doing wrong, and then thought better of it. He pumped it for us, showed us how to get the card out of the machine & sent us on our way. We couldn’t help but notice as we looked in the rear view mirrors that both he & several other patrons at the gas station were laughing their butts off.

We didn’t care, though! We had gas in the Jeep, & we were on our way. Late; but on our way. And if we ever need to put gas in the Jeep again, we know just what to do. Ask for help & forget about trying to do it ourselves. Saves time.

Hey, we may be dumb, but we learn fast.

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The Curious Case of the Brunette Lucy

The Curious Case of the Brunette Lucy
She was pretty dumb.