A Dog Named Bubba

Our family adopted our labs two years ago. Their original names weren’t dumb enough, so we changed them to Bubba & Mae-B (pronounced “maybe”). They were 3 & 4, respectively. Mae-B is your normal, yellow lab. She’s loving, playful, & willing to go anywhere with anyone at any time as long as they pet her. Bubba, on the other hand, is her polar opposite. He’s black, the size of a small pony, &, sadly, stupid; really, really stupid, but in a good, cute way. We also surmised that he had been abused, as he was quite skittish & never wagged his tail. I used to inspect it to see if it was broken somewhere. Of course, my husband, Matt, would make fun of me & ask where I got my vet training.

When we first got him home, my daughter, Aubrie (the dog whisperer), was the only one he wanted to be around. She’d walk into a room, & right behind her was her shadow. But, she loves him & he loves her right back. Next to gain his trust was Elyse & Dakota, followed by me. Matt is just now getting his grudging seal of approval. He's quite the comic, even though he never means to be.

Bubba had a Flintstone sized bone that he carried around the house. Between his size, & the added width of the bone, he had trouble fitting though doors. Honestly, it is pretty funny watching this goliath trying over & over – think pinball machine & you’ve got the visual. If we were nice people, we’d probably have turned his head for him. Seriously, though, it was just too funny. He’s afraid to drop it because Mae-B would pick it up. The ensuing tug of war is comical.

Bubba hates change as much as Britney Spears hates underwear (& apparently, long term relationships). Matt recently installed a tile floor in the kitchen. When Bubba saw it, you could literally see what he was thinking. “Are you people KIDDING me?” He often loses his footing. & ends up sliding on it as if it was ice. This, of course, freaks him out & he runs away. Well, kind of runs away. It takes him a few seconds to catch his footing. In the meantime, his legs are going a mile a minute & he looks like he should be in a cartoon.

Bubba is finally wagging his tail, & I kind of wish he didn’t learn. With one swipe, he took out a string of lights at Christmas. He’s knocked over lamps, tables, & the occasional kid. If I hear something crash, I don’t even have to wonder what happened. I just yell to the kids, “Bubba?”

But on the bright side, he loves us & we love him right back. He may not be the brightest bulb on the planet, but he's ours. And we couldn't be more happy.